Our ego can be quite a personality in itself! Unfortunately, we identify with this entity too often. Sometimes we even have difficulty in perceiving it and dissociating ourselves from it. Here is a small compilation of signs that are often connected to the ego during conversations and interaction. Be attentive when you speak and pay attention to your feelings and your words, you will quickly identify this entity.
1. We answer a question that has never been asked.
2. We avoid taking anything personally by pointing fingers at others.
3. We talk a lot about ourselves and listen very little.
4. Our attention is on us rather than on others.
5. We interrupt others to speak.
6. Our way of doing things is always the best.
7. We seek attention by all possible means.
8. We do not take criticism.
9. We do not want to be helped.
10. We are impatient with waiting times, even without having any reason to be in a hurry.
11. We ask a question in hope that others ask us the same.
12. We speak of our successes, but never of our failures.
13. We are the “best” whether if it’s in a negative or positive comparison.
14. We brag about our achievements or those of our loved ones.
15. If we lose to a game, for example, we explain how we could have won.
16. Before doing anything unusual, we look around to see if we have an audience.
17. We have a hard time to say sorry.
18. We justify ourselves constantly.
19. We make others feel inferior to us.
20. We pretend to know something we do not really know.
There are so many more signs! Let’s be aware, because the first step to defusing our ego is to identify it!
Once we have identified the ego, how do we proceed? It is equally important to identify the state and sensation that is connected to it. It can be a feeling of “overconfidence”, of “over-knowledge”, of “over-independence”, or anything else. It varies from person to person, depending on how the ego adapted with time. Yes, this clever one can adapt itself! Stay on the lookout for this feeling, as it is the first sign that the ego has come out of its cave. Now we must understand that the ego is indestructible, in the sense of fighting against it. He is like Hydra in the legend of Hercules if we cut off one of his heads, 2 grows thereafter. This is where we can see people having a spiritual vanity, even perhaps boasting about their spiritual feats, or ironically, bragging about not having an ego. They may have cut off some ties with their ego, but this one only fled to take refuge in their spiritual side or elsewhere. How do we overcome this thousand-headed hydra? Not with the sword, but by being smarter than him! We must offer what he wants, but in a different way, to set a little trap. Basically, the ego is an entity created to gather attention and love. The way he goes about achieving that goal differs from one moment to another and from one person to another. Whether if it’s by playing the smartest, the strongest, the richest, the wisest, the worst, or the most powerful. So if he wants so much love and attention, let’s give him some!
It is not always easy to give love to someone so stubborn and demanding. What I use is a simple visualization. Imagine your ego or that of others as a young child. Because deep down, that is what he is! A child who pulls the sweater for attention, who wants to put his shoes himself to prove that he is capable, even if he puts them in the wrong way, or even want his toy to be the strongest and the best in the world! Once we visualize the ego as a child who only lung for a deep connection. It becomes much easier to embrace and love him unconditionally.
So, after identifying the signs that our ego is waking up. We must perceive him for what he really is, a child in need, then let’s love him… love him deeply and tenderly. Our love will incapacitate him, disarm him and defuse him. He will finally be at peace, and us too!